He's Just Not That Into You - Now Do You Believe Me?

See -- there is a lot to be learned from watching and absorbing what happens in movies.

One very helpful principle that somehow didn't make it into the Keira Knightly Pride and Prejudice was this exchange:

Mrs. Gardiner: "You are too sensible a girl, Lizzy, to fall in love merely because you are warned against it; and, therefore, I am not afraid of speaking openly. Seriously, I would have you be on your guard...."

Lizzy: "All that I can promise you, therefore, is not to be in a hurry. I will not be in a hurry to believe myself his first object. When I am in company with him, I will not be wishing. In short, I will do my best."

So, consider -- if the characters in this new movie would merely heed this very basic advice -- don't be in a hurry -- think how much misery would be avoided.

Remember the Second Variable in finding true love is time. There's plenty of time. Almost certainly, you won't be single as long as I was, and I survived; it's better to wait and get it right. And while you're waiting, watch gobs of movies.

Love's Dozen - The Next Six

We're learning about men and love from movies -- catch up on the first set of required viewing.

Remember, my advice from the situations in these movies will be life-changing, but to get the full benefit you'll actually need to watch the movies. It's one thing to read in black and white about how Katharine Hepburne wastes her time with a man ridiculously unworthy of her in Desk Set; it's quite another to experience it all along with her.




Philadelphia Story – intuition and magic and character and time and what women want to hear from men;
When Harry Met Sally – men who can’t commit, framework for making sexual decisions, sex for non-sexual reasons, female screenwriters;
Postcards from the Edge – truth about playboys, female screenwriters, The Rush, seduction;

Pat and Mike – character, safely married vs. gloriously married;
Holiday – Love’s Hinckeys, The Peanut Speech of True Love;
Desk Set – men who can’t commit, magic, gloriously married;
To Have and Have Not – intuition, character, gloriously married.

Baker's Dozen - Born Yesterday - Abusive Relationships

Before long, you’ll not only know lots about true love but lots about classic movies – heaven knows you’ve wasted gargantuan moments watching awful movies – pay attention - there will be quizzes.

Aunt Lee Says: Everyone will be on Netflix eventually -- why not start now?

Love's Dozen - The Most Important Movies for Understanding Men

Honestly, you can learn everything you need to know about negotiating your path to true love from old movies. To get the full benefit from my advice, you'll hafta actually watch the movies -- half the point of the process is that you experience what the character experiences.

Follow this blog, and you’ll eventually learn about dozens of movies, but you should at least know in some depth the top twelve. Here's the first set; I've provided convenient clickables to get the movies from Amazon or, when available, straight to your iPod from iTunes:





Pillow Talk – playboys and seduction;
Rear Window – men who can’t commit;
Where The Boys Are (1960)– seduction – character and time love factors, The Get Scale, and the most important modern seduction technique;
Roxanne – seduction and what women want to hear from men, why we really love men, and Gloriously Married;

Way Down East / Fast Times at Ridgemont High (they’re really the same movie) – seduction and youth and sex and playboys and true love;

Before long, you’ll not only know lots about true love but lots about classic movies – heaven knows you’ve wasted gargantuan moments watching awful movies – pay attention - there will be quizzes.

Keep Reading --

Everybody will be on Netflix someday -- why not start today?



On to the next set:

Movies-into-Brain-Seeping

As modern women, our romantic lives are sort-of prescripted by what we've seen people in the movies do. We see movie people in all kinds of private moments where we never see friends and neighbors, and we incorporate a huge movie-character database into negotiations of our own love lives. It's inevitable.

As we all know, movies have their conventions: Boy meets, gets girl, misunderstanding, happy ending. Unhappily, romantic movie conventions have the tendency to seep into our unconscious, motivating us to follow, neither our hearts nor our minds, but our dim memories of what Julia Roberts said to Richard Gere.

When the creative minds from whence our movies flow are sensible, intelligent and humorous, movies-into-brain-seeping works in our favor.

When the creative minds from whence our movies flow are dweebish, heedless of history, psychologically uninformed,self-involved, and shallow, as is very often the case, we can still benefit - we can gain helpful insights of how powerful and
shallow people would produce a world; we can learn by negative example.

Thumbs up or down, movie worlds afford us the accumulated romantic experience of lifetimes of very intelligent people, male and female, on specific guy-related issues we face every day of our lives.

If we only knew where to look.