Get Scale Inequities

Get Scale Inequities

To find really true love and escape bad romantic situations, you need to understand The Get Scale and you need to develop a keen eye for get scale inequities.

You need to know where you stand, both in the grand, public Get Scale the world operates by - the mathmatical equivalent of the H'wood Dweeb Marital Fallacy #1 - Marriage is a Mutual Trophy Acquisition Procedure - and a truer platonic get scale of real quality and character and other boring stuff.

Given a relationship where there's an inequity in the relative ranking on any of the get scales, you need to wonder why, you need to proceed cautiously.

The standard Get Scale Inequity is the story of rich and powerful using and discarding youth and beauty, and you need to make the decision in advance to sidestep situations where you’re likely to be used and discarded.

Watch what can happen when a really cute guy plays up to a girl who isn’t used to that kind of attention – we all know he’s after her money, but she’s too nervous to suspect:

Watch the whole clip, so you get the idea of how unpopular and undesirable she is – but the gorgeous Montgomery Clift shows up at about 3:45 minutes in. Watch how easy it is for him to manipulate her -- now and forever after, this seduction con won't work on you -- you've educated and thereby innoculated yourself.

Another great movie illustrating the concept is Dogfight, where a group of jerks have a bet: who can bring the ugliest girl to the party. Here’s the scene where River Phoenix sweet-talks Lili Taylor, a girl who isn’t used to that kind of attention.

This movie is worth watching in its entirety, although it’s very painful in parts.

To survive romantic encounters in the real world, you must have a realistic assessment of where you stand on The Get Scale, and you've made a good start.

The most important Get Scale Inequity is The Dorothy Stratten Get Scale Inequity, which we’ll get to soon enough.

Riahnna and Chris and True Love part II

Riahnna and Chris and true love part II (miss Part I?)

ShaundalynChic, I’ll get to your question at the end of this entry – first, I want to talk a bit more about Written on the Wind.

Okay, okay, it’s way melodrama, but it’s really well done for what it is, AND it gives you practically moment by moment, how one type of guy who hits gets the girl he winds up hitting.

Robert Stack is the archetypal rich drunken playboy who spots snappy no-nosense Laren Bacall and makes his standard play for her – the standard play is basically, “hi, I’m rich.”

That doesn’t work, and he goes to a different seduction con, “Little Boy Lost.” His father doesn’t understand him, he tries but can’t blah blah, “I find myself talking to you like I've never talked to anyone before ...”

Watch the movie – tell me if you don’t agree with me that Lauren Bacall marries him, not out of sudden, deep love, but because she thinks she can save him. The Invitation to Rescue. You can see how this can happen – sometimes he’s so sweet and fun, and rich, and from all appearances she’s the only one who can make him into what he really should be.

Everything happens in a whirlwind – because guys like this are spoiled babies who want what they want now, and because they’re afraid that once the girl really knows him she’ll run away.

He does really try; he stops drinking for about a year, but he's unreasonably jealous of Rock Hudson, and of course the first crisis brings him down, and he gets drunk and hits her. But even before that – pay attention – she’s not a wife, she’s a nanny, a nurse, an enforcer – is that a marriage?

If you’ve got a friend like Rihanna, sit down and watch this movie with her – see if you can get some real conversation going. It’s high drama, sure, but the characters are absolutely true.



Buy Written on the Wind - click image


And, ShaundalynChic, the reason for Oliver! is the Nancy character – dark for a musical, I know – Bill beats her and eventually kills her, and through it all she says she’s so happy because he needs her – here’s her big musical number:



Download the movie Oliver! from iTunes now! or just the one song:

Riahnna and Chris and true love part I

Riahnna and chris and true love part I

Remember where we started out, with how to tell if it’s true love – the very first rule is:
1. Character - Yours and His

Basic Rule: if either yours or his is seriously flawed or
completely absent, the relationship will not ultimately work,
even (and this is the hard part) even if there is actually real
love. There are no known exceptions to this rule.

It’s a bummer of a rule, and it’s a bummer to have to use the lovely Rianna to demonstrate it. My best guess is that she really loves the boy, but as you can see, where there are serious character flaws, longtime true love is simple unworkable.

Why would she even consider taking him back? My best guess is – not that she thinks he’ll never hit her again, not that he’d be worth it even if he did hit – she’s considering taking him back because she thinks she can save him.

This breaking-news relationship issue is jumping us ahead somewhat in our study of seduction techniques. Two of the three main techniques are premised on the issue of relationships as rescue. that notion is based upon a false premise.

i. The false premise of "the invitation to rescue"

Romantic relationships are not the place to redeem souls and redirect life goals; redeeming souls and redirecting lives are the provinces of priests and social workers. Maybe shrinks and professional career counselors.

Love cannot, by itself, magically change a bad man into a good one. Save as many men as you feel the need to, certainly, but not in a context of romantic love.


Tragically, the more massive the stores of goodness and charity we carry within ourselves, the more susceptible we are to this lose-lose-lose situation.

Resources for Rihanna and others in this situation:

Rianna’s friends should do the following: Sit her down and watch these movies, all of which demonstrate the impossibility of Rescue in a romantic relationship: A Star is Born (I prefer the Judy Garland one, but all will make the point); All That Jazz, Written on the Wind, and maybe even the old musical Oliver!

In all of these, you’ve got a woman who loves a man who’s a mess who uses herself up in trying to save him and who fails, because it’s not possible. For a heartbreaking account of marrying a man with a longstanding reputation as a womanizer, see The Unbearable Lightness of Being.




Second, Rianna’s friends should purchase these books for her and get her to read them – books written by or about real women who had relationships with men just like Chris. Really, when you read the details about life with a guy who fancies himself a player, you'll never want that for yourself or your kids.

Lucy in the Afternoon: An Intimate Memoir of Lucille Ball
No More Idols
Ava: My Story

I Can’t Believe You Didn’t Know It Was A Line!

I Can’t Believe You Didn’t Know It Was A Line!

In the very first episode of “Friends,” Monica falls for a seduction line and doesn’t even realize it until Joey and Ross explain it to her. (Refresh your memory - download it now:

It’s a sad, sad thing that this line continues to work when it's been excruciatingly well documented in movies (the best examples are in Some Like It Hot and Pillow Talk). Monica fell, but you won’t have to, if you follow this blog.

Seduction Con Lines

Luckily for us, even after centuries of guys desperately pooling resources and stealing seduction ideas from books and movies and each other, the lines they come up with are pretty predictable.

Seduction Con Lines will generally fall into three basic, easily recognizable categories, with subcategories as plentiful as the desperation that drives them, along with one scheme that never, ever works on us but that two subgroups of sub-men, with blindingly hilarious stupidity continually believe will work someday. Plus the one seduction con that’s been working pretty effectively since about 1960.

We’ll get to all them.

But as a preview, Monica fell for what has to be called the “Some Like It Hot” seduction – Marilyn Monroe, alone with Tony Curtis on a yacht, is on her guard against being seduced. But Curtis pretends to be – shall we say, “harmless,” moving Marilyn to take on his harmlessness as her personal fix-it project, plying him with champagne and kisses to get him, shall we say, up to speed.

Doris Day falls for the very same seduction con in Pillow Talk, which we’ll get to in some detail and again in Lover Come Back.

Stay with me, and you’ll soon know every seduction technique, plus the effective counter-measures.

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe.

No, not the actors, God bless them and grant them a measure of privacy, the characters they played in Cruel Intentions. Reese played a sweet virgin, and Ryan played the bad guy who pretended to be a good guy to get her into bed but accidentally fell in love with her, and suffice it to say, it does not end well.

We talked before that the three variables to work out in finding whether it’s true love start with Character – yours and his – and now we’re at:

(b) His character.

I know you don't believe me -- yet -- but whether your lover has a fine, upstanding character will not only provide gargantuan clues as to the authenticity of his love, but it will eventually determine if he completes your life or wrecks it beyond repair.



In Cruel Intentions, Ryan plans to pretend to love her just long enough – all the pretty things he says are lies. This is a common pattern in movies: (and in life, dear)

In Pillow Talk, a movie where Doris Day is exactly like you even though she’s a fictional ‘60’s character, Rock Hudson poses as Rex Stetson, tourist from Texas, polite, chivalrous and true. He says in a voiceover, “I’d say, five, or six dates ought to do it.” He has to pretend, because he knows she already knows he's an unapologetic jerk who wouldn’t get past an opening line if she knew his real name.



These guys can’t keep up the charade forever, though, which will take us to our second variable, Time.


Can't wait? Get Cruel Intentions now at iTunes!