Is He Too Old For Me –The Manhattan Get Scale Inequity

Is He Too Old For Me –The Manhattan Get Scale Inequity

I get this question a lot, and obviously there is no one right answer. Charlie Chaplin was 54 when he married 18 year old Oona, and they lived happily to his death; Lauren Bacall was 20 when she married the 45 year old Humphrey Bogart.

But what happens most often is that the younger woman is always the more mature one and that as the relationship progresses, that fact becomes more and more obvious.

If you take a step back, this makes sense – why isn’t that 27 year old guy dating women his own age? Why is he even considering that 16 year old, that 18 year old? Why would a 15 year old choose a 5 year old as a best friend rather than someone of a similar age? It's not that the 5 year old is so mature, it's that the 15 year old is creepy.

Okay, if you’re considering giving up your youth to an older guy, you owe it to yourself to spend at least 20 minutes watching these clips from the movie Manhattan – here is Woody Allen and his 17 year old girl friend – Mariel Hemingway shows up a couple minutes in, but it’s fun to watch Meryl Streep in a very early performance first:

And what happens to young girls in this situation is usually that the relationship flip-flops, and the fact that the girl is and has always been the more mature one becomes obvious to everyone, even her – which you can see in the closing scene from Manhattan.

See how she is far more mature, even at 18? See how he doesn’t want her to learn more about the world, because he knows she will completely eclipse him if she does?

Did you watch carefully? Did you have the impulse to step into the screen, bodily grab Mariel’s arm and drag her away from that creepy older guy? In all likelihood, this may well be what your friends and even parents are seeing when they see you and your older boyfriend.

But maybe that situation is too close to make the point – watch here as an older woman works to seduce a younger man:

Now do you see the creepy? There is astonishing creepy potential in the situation!

Just some things to think about.

More on The Get Scale and Get Scale Inequities.

Get Scale Inequities

Get Scale Inequities

To find really true love and escape bad romantic situations, you need to understand The Get Scale and you need to develop a keen eye for get scale inequities.

You need to know where you stand, both in the grand, public Get Scale the world operates by - the mathmatical equivalent of the H'wood Dweeb Marital Fallacy #1 - Marriage is a Mutual Trophy Acquisition Procedure - and a truer platonic get scale of real quality and character and other boring stuff.

Given a relationship where there's an inequity in the relative ranking on any of the get scales, you need to wonder why, you need to proceed cautiously.

The standard Get Scale Inequity is the story of rich and powerful using and discarding youth and beauty, and you need to make the decision in advance to sidestep situations where you’re likely to be used and discarded.

Watch what can happen when a really cute guy plays up to a girl who isn’t used to that kind of attention – we all know he’s after her money, but she’s too nervous to suspect:

Watch the whole clip, so you get the idea of how unpopular and undesirable she is – but the gorgeous Montgomery Clift shows up at about 3:45 minutes in. Watch how easy it is for him to manipulate her -- now and forever after, this seduction con won't work on you -- you've educated and thereby innoculated yourself.

Another great movie illustrating the concept is Dogfight, where a group of jerks have a bet: who can bring the ugliest girl to the party. Here’s the scene where River Phoenix sweet-talks Lili Taylor, a girl who isn’t used to that kind of attention.

This movie is worth watching in its entirety, although it’s very painful in parts.

To survive romantic encounters in the real world, you must have a realistic assessment of where you stand on The Get Scale, and you've made a good start.

The most important Get Scale Inequity is The Dorothy Stratten Get Scale Inequity, which we’ll get to soon enough.